Where in the world is 40666? :: Germany

So we all know about the Holocaust, that shit was wack to say the least. But what has Germany been up to since the fall of the Nazis, you ask? Well, some positive contributions they brought us have been Dirk Nowitzki and Heidi Klum, but what's more important is that they seem to be up to their old tricks again. No, it's not a resurgence of the Nazi regime, but it's almost as bad. It's German pop music.

Allow me to introduce you to Jordy Van Loon. He's the German equivalent of Justin Beiber, but believe it or not, I'd take the Beibs over this kid any day. There's something in his piercing blue eyes that gives me the feeling deep down lies a deep-seated hatred for the Jews.


You might watch that creepy video and think to yourself, "Oh it's just a kids song", but you'd be wrong. That garbage became the number one requested song on Germany's version of TRL called Serious Request. Apparently circus music + creepy tween = smash hit in Deutschland. Here's another gem from Jordy for ya. This one shows the sex fiend slacking off at work to make eyes at some chicks. Watch for the uber-creepy hug at the end.



Maybe I'll find translated lyrics of these songs and come to find that Jordy is a lyrical visionary, but I'm not holding my breath.

This next kid is a breath of fresh air after Jordy, and a lot less cringeworthy. Take one part Augustus Gloop, one part Mini-daddy, sprinkle in some Ryan Seacrest, and you end up with the uber-hilarious Zanger Bob.



Judging by the quality of these videos, I doubt that Zanger ever reached the superstar status of Jordy van Loon, which is a shame, but he did manage to become an internet meme.





Of course, this is a very small sample of German music and it would be unfair of me to say that based on four youtube videos of little kids that all German music sucks, but it's my right as an arrogant American so I'm going to anyway (and you can quote me): All German music sucks.

-Drew